Finding Psychological Balance
At a personal level psychological states of equilibrium or distress reflect the harmony or conflict between our emotional states and our thoughts. Finding harmony means we make space for both. We live in a culture that values thinking over feeling, however both are important aspects of our experience. If we ignore our emotions then we lose access to important information about what we value, sources of attraction and avoidance, warmth, feelings of safety and connection, capacity for empathy and love, our gut instincts. If we ignore our rational mind then we can lose access to our common sense, ability to focus on facts and evidence, how to remain cool and calm, and our capacity for analysis logic and objectivity. There is a broad range of psychological methods to address emotional reactivity including ways to manage, minimise and creatively express emotions. Cognitive methods such as cognitive behaviour therapy, dialectical behaviour therapy, schema therapy seek to discern the ways perceptions can be distorted and create emotional distress, then challenge unhelpful beliefs and replace them with something that results in emotional balance. Mindfulness based approaches such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy teach defusion skills that develop capacity for self-observation and witnessing rather than buying into unhelpful beliefs and emotions. Experiential approaches such as Hakomi, Internal Family Systems, gestalt, art therapy, sandplay, and reflective journalling, facilitate safe emotional expression and acceptance, and ways of exploring the underlying needs and meaning of emotional states whilst engaging in transformative work.
Inner Work – Moving Through Suffering to Joy and Wholeness
The process of transforming the psychological patterning that obstructs the expression of your potential and greater possibilities, is often described in the west as ‘inner work’. Inner work is distinct from much modern cognitive based psychologies (cognitive behaviour therapy, dialectical behaviour therapy, schema therapy), which tend to focus on top-down management of emotions and behaviour by identifying, challenging, and changing unhelpful core beliefs. Cognitive therapies nevertheless have their place in transformational work. Inner work by contrast explores the relationship between subconscious, conscious and superconscious minds, to address limiting beliefs, emotional patterns and behaviours, rooted in past experiences, and transform them by drawing on our future possibilities and current resources. This means both eliminating patterns and building in qualities and new experiences of possibility rather than a compulsive acting out of the past. It means cultivating states of consciousness that enable ease of identification with our highest human potential. We simultaneously create a relationship with all parts of ourselves, while grounded in compassion, wisdom, and mindfulness so that nothing within us obstructs or distorts, but rather transmits and expresses more of our potential. This is the process of integration. It is a deep alchemical journey and unfolding gestational process and not accomplished overnight.
Relationships & Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is a way of recognising understanding and choosing how we think feel and act. It shapes our interactions with others and our understanding of ourselves. It defines how and what we learn . It allows us to set priorities. It determines the majority of our daily actions. Research suggests it is responsible for as much as 80% of the “success” in our lives. (J.Freedman)
Projection and Shadow Work
Human beings are meaning makers and yet the meanings we attribute to events, people‘s behaviour and experiences can be strongly affected by a range of influences including our values, beliefs, personal history, memory, life experiences, culture and family of origin. We filter experiences through our belief systems which then colour our view of things. Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung talked about our having a persona and shadow which are references to the conscious and unconscious aspects of the personality. The shadow contains parts of ourselves we are not yet ready to acknowledge or have suppressed. Maybe we are in denial about and hiding from aspects of ourselves that don’t please us, or we find difficulty acknowledging certain good qualities and characteristics. Projection occurs when we highlight and react to our disowned worst and best features in others. So, projections can be clues to suppressed needs; unacceptable or desired characteristics or qualities that we need to develop and own; and also historical or developmental trauma that remains unresolved. One way to recognise when projection is occurring is to monitor the extremity of our reactions to another’s behaviour. If our reaction is highly emotional and fixated and we have strong beliefs about how other people should or should not be behaving, then we are probably experiencing projection. Owning projections and the shadow means we are integrating the conscious and unconscious minds, balancing psychological forces, expressing more of our wholeness and reducing sources of inner tension and outer conflict.
Self Discovery and Identification
Star Diagram, Psychosynthesis, Wikimedia Commons